Response to Teandra's eureka moment... Week 6

Teandra,
I think most men will be unhappy when they are working two jobs, and their wives are at home. For us women, many times we rather to be at home with the kids and take a good care of them rather than have them in day care or over a babysitter. But also, we can find men who want their wives to stay at home, but the wife wants to work outside her house like her husband.
My brother got married about two years ago, at first his wife was at home, but after 4 months she starts to look for a job because she got tired being at home most of the time. Now, she is pregnant and she is due in August. As my brother told me that they are fighting daily because he wants her to leave her job and stay at home relax and get ready for their first baby; but she doesn't want that. she wants to keep working until two weeks before her due date and she told him that she will go back to work a month after the baby born. Also, she is looking for a babysitter for the baby so he can get use to her from the day he born.

Response to Taran's Eureka Moment... Week 6

Taran,
I think fathers are harder on their daughters' boyfriends more than the mothers on the boys' girlfriends, because many fathers care about their daughters more than they care about their sons, not because they like the girl more, but because they feel that boys are always stronger in their relationship than the girls.
Also, they feel more worried about the daughter than the son, because they think girls follow their hearts, while boys follow their minds. So, if the parents think that the girl's boyfriend is not good, no matter how much they will tell her she might not listen to them and keep following him because she loves him. But if they tell the boy that his girlfriend is not good, he will listen to his parents and leave his girlfriend.

Response to Tiffany's Blog... week 6

Tiffany, I do agree with you that many women when they succeed in their jobs, they will be so bossy and wants everyone to listen and obey them. Also, there is the other kinds of women who will not change no matter how high they get in their life. So, I think it depends more on the person's character.
In my work one of the technicians was regular technician like everyone else. Two years ago, she took the state test for the pharmacy and she passes it so she became the lead tech of the pharmacy. Now she gives orders to everyone and she asks every person to do the things she is supposed to do. One someone say anything to her, she will say "I know better than you, and that is why I am the lead tech." But before her we had a very nice lead tech, she use to do most of the work on her own, and she will ask us to help her if we can. She never was mean or gave any order to anyone.

Response to Joan's Eureka Moment...

I believe it is a great thing to see same gender group walking together and no one says anything about them. I heard so many people saying that men can't walk or be together because people think bad about them.
I have a little story I will share with you. When I first came to US, one time I was walking with my friend "girl" in the mall, and we were holding hands together. In my country this is normal and every two cloth friend when they walk together they will hold hands. So many people looked at us in a strange way, but that time I didn't know anything about "lesbian or gay" after several weeks I told the story to my cousin whose been here for so long. He laughed at me and he said I should never hold her hand again because people with think that we are lesbian.

Week 6....

This is not an eureka moment, but it is a true story happened with me and since that time I am searching for the answer of the questions came to my mind when I noticed the same thing happened many times.
Before I tell you the story, I have to give you a little information about myself so you can understand what happened. Probably most of you by now know that I am from Lebanon. My religion is Islam and I wear a scarf “covers my hair”. It is part of my religion to wear it.
The story starts when I was in high school several years ago. Many times a group of girl will come to me and ask me why I cover my hair, did anyone force me to do that, what will happen if I don’t wear the scarf…. I always answer them and never felt embarrassing or anything. The one time I felt shy and wanted to quiet high school is when a group of guys came to me and said “Do I wear this thing on my head because I don’t have any hair, and to cover that I am bold.” I looked at them and start crying, but I told them that they are wrong because I have a very long hair, and I cover it because it is my religion.
Later on, when I start my job in the pharmacy many ladies will come and ask me same question. Why do I cover my hair? They never talked to me in any embarrassing way. But many males when they want to ask me about it, they will start by saying “are you a nun” and then I will explain to them that I am not, and nun do not wear their scarf the way I wear mine. One time I get sick of them that asking me if I am a nun instead of just asking me what’s that thing on my head, when one asked me I told him “have you ever saw a nun wearing a colorful scarf, I know nuns wear white and black only.” He looked at me and he walked away.
What I didn’t understand whether males feel shy to ask about the scarf because I am a female or they ask in an embarrassing why so they don’t show that they don’t know about other religion like when they said “If I am a nun, do I have hair,” The other I thought about is that women don’t feel shy to ask and learn.

Response to Heather's eureka moment...Week 5

Heather, When I read your eureka moment, I remembered when I was a young girl "in Elementary and Middle school" and I was still in my country Lebanon. My dad was traveling a lot and he use to spend months outside Lebanon because of his job and we only see him for very short time. He didn't know anything about my school but when he is home he will ask me to show him my tests and report card.
One time I was in 4th grade and we had a big party at the end of the school year. The teacher asked all students to come on the last day with the mother & father. The night before the last day I cried a lot and I called my dad to ask him if he can come so he can go with me and my mom to school. He was in here "US".
I still remember his words to me. He said "If you called me two days before I would leave everything and come to be with you, but now it is too late, because if I leave US at this moment I will not make it because it is 12 hours flight”. To make me happy and feel that he cares about me he called the school and he talked to my teacher. She put him on speaker and every one heard him. After that all the students were telling me that I am so lucky because my dad called the school to make me feel he is with me and not feel without dad.

Response to Taran's Blog

I like your blog, I do believe that many people think that everything has bright colors it belongs to girls, and the dark colors are for boys.
One time I went with my brother shopping, he wanted to buy a phone case for his Itouch, there were so many different designs and colors, and he only liked one design. That design was on bright color cases only. He refused to buy any of them, and he asked them to special order one for him that it is either a white or black color.
When I asked him why he didn't buy any of them when they are cute colors, he said all of them have bright colors and they are for girls only.

Response to Taryn's Eureka moment...Week 5

I think the men has to agree on the abortion before the women do it. It is the men right to keep the child or no same as it is the women right. The child is not only for the mother only but the father has right on him same as the mohter.

I know back home doctors will not allow the mother to do abortion unless the father with her, or she has a letter from him that he doesn't want the child. Also, if the doctor did that with out the father know, he can go to jail and pay a lot of money to the father.

Eureka Moment...Week 5

Who Feels More Jealous male or female???
Is jealousy different from person to other or it is a gender thing?????

Last weekend I was in a birthday party with group of my friends. One of my friends "M" saw her boyfriend dancing with other girl. M was so angry and she wanted to fight with him in the party. She knew the girl long time ago, and she knows that her boyfriend and that girl have been friends since very long time even before M dates him. She was so jealous to see her boyfriend dancing with an old friend, she was not able to control her feelings even she knows and she is sure that her boyfriend will never date his old friend, and he was dancing with her for fun only.

After the party my friends and I told Ms' boyfriend what she did when he was dancing with K, he laughed so much and he told her that he never get mad or angry when he sees her dancing with other guy. He told her that he trust her and he is sure she will never look at any other guy as long as she loves him.

After that I asked my self do females feel more jealous than males or it depends on the type of the person and his/her relation with the partner.

Response to Nicole's Eureka moment...Week 4

It is so nice of your cousin to leave his job to take care of his new born baby. Most of the time the lady is the one who leaves her work to take care of her baby. I think your cousin should not care about what the family says and try to ignore them as long as he is happy with his decision and he was the one who chose to do it.

My dads' friend after he lost his job, he stays at home with his first granddaughter. He feels so happy that he is taking care of his granddaughter, and whenever someone asks him "where do you work know" he says "Babysitter instead of my wife". The first time I heard him saying that I remembered the movie “daddy day care”.

I felt that my dads’ friend talks about him babysitting his granddaughter so proudly and happy to show the people that it doesn't matter for him whether it is a male or female job as long as he is happy and enjoying what he is doing.

Response to Taran's Eureka moment...Week 4

Taran,
I do agree with you that many times we judge people on the way they look or dress with out knowing anything about their lives.
I remember one time I was in the pharmacy and a patient came with many prescriptions. and she didn't want me to do them because i looked different then the others by wearing my traditional scarf. she asked me to get her some one else, and when I told her that I can fill her prescriptions and I am the one who has to type them because that was my job, she looked at me in a scary face and she said "I don't trust you with my prescriptions".
I felt so bad, but I went and I called the pharmacist to help her. After the pharmacist typed her prescription, there was a problem with her insurance so I called them and I fixed everything for her. When she got her medicine and the Pharmacist told her that I've been in the pharmacy for almost 5 years, and I never messed up any prescription and I was the one who fixed her problem with the insurance, she told me that she is very sorry for what she said, and she did that because someone who was doesn't look like American typed her prescription under the wrong name and from that time she only trust "white people".
But after what I did for her, when ever she comes to the pharmacy she asks for me, and she still apologize for what happened before.

Week 4.....Eureka Moment

Several weeks ago my co-worker and I were talking about some problems ladies face more than males do. One of the problem we talked about was how many jobs they pay more money to males than to females even when they have same degree and they are in the same field. We compared this between the two pharmacist we have. The female pharmacist been working as pharmacy at least 4 years before the male pharmacist we have. Also, she graduated several years before him, but with that he still get pays more than her.
Last semester in one of my sociology classes we were talking about this topic, and also the prof. showed us a lot of studies that shows in the high fields and in most of the low fields "Doctors, Pharmacy, education, and nursing, etc..." males get payed more than females even in some of them the female been in the field longer and has more experience than the male.
I thought about this a lot and I didn't find any answer specially in US, because when I look at it in my country, they pays the male more because he has more responsibility than the female, he is the one who support the wife with the money even if she works, and he is the one who pays for all the expenses of the house and the kids. But in here both the male and the female supports the family and the house almost at the same level.
So Why would they pay the male more than the female????????????

Response to Taran's Eureka moment...Week 3

I've never been around any gay or lesbian people, so I don't really know how I will fee if one of my friends turned to be homosexual. As a Muslim girl I am not allow to show any part of my body to anyone or change my cloth in front of anyone other than my husband.
So because of this since I was a young girl I never changed my cloth in front of any one, and when I see someone doing it I feel so shy and I leave the room.

The funny part is when I was in high school and I had to change my cloth to the gym cloth, I always wait until everyone is done and leave the room and then I will change, until one day the teacher told me that I can't be any more late, and when I explained to her so said "you can change in the bathroom". I felt so bad, and I said to myself "she is so mean, and she doesn't respect any other people feelings".

Response to Joan's Eureka Moment...Week 3

Joan and Taran,
I hope you will not be mad at me after you read my post. I am not trying to offend you but this is what I think. The thing that bothers me a lot is when people judge on others from the way they act, dress, or talk. Also many people do that when they see foreign people acting in a weird way. They never think that the strange way they see might be normal for the people who’s doing it because they are from different countries and they have different culture and different backgrounds. But they have to judge them on the way they see it only. This start to bother me more when I heard a person telling his friend that he thinks my friend and I are lesbian because we were walking and holding hands. At that time believe, it was my first year in US, and I didn’t know what does the word lesbian means. But now every time I remember it I say “I wish I can meet that person to tell his that he shouldn't judge people from the way they are acting”. In my country it is normal for two girls to walk and hold hands, they see it as a sign for a strong friendship. But in here it is something not good and from that time I never hold any of my friends’ hands.

Eureka Moment...Week 3

When I was a young girl I use to watch a lot of American movies in my country. I always wanted to be like the girls in the movies because they have a lot of freedom, they can do what ever they want and no one will tells them to stop, they can act the way they want and do what ever they want without getting the OK from the parents. Also,I always hear people talking about how much freedom young girls have in US.

When I came to US, I found that what I use to hear from people, and see on TV was not true. I found that there is many American families are more strict than people in my country. I found that not all girls have the freedom that boys have, not all girls can stay out late like boys, not all girls can do what they want any time they want, but they have to get the OK from their parents. So I found this thing is so much similar to what we have in my county.

But the thing that I don't understand until now is Why does movies always shows that girls have the same freedom and rights in US as boys when this is not true in most of the families.

Response to Tiffany's Eureka moment... Week 3

I do see the same thing as you. That a female can look at other female and no one will say anything, but if a male looked at another male people will think in a bad way about him.
I think this is because females usually look at each other, and try to copy each other styles in the hair look, the cloth, the makeup and all these things. But males usually don't care about these things because each of them thinks that he has his own style.
I noticed this a lot when I was in my country last summer. Because I am coming from US every girl will look at me differently and each one of them wants to copy my "American Style" as they say but I know that I don't have any different style than there style, but none of the males looked at the way my brother dress or anything but they see him dressing and acting the same way as they are.

Response to Tonya's Eureka moment...

Hi Tonya,
I think the same way as Nicolef and Teandra. We always try to look in our best whether we are at home or outside, with family or friends. This is not only for women in US, but all women from all different cultures,and religions want always to look beautiful, young and sexy. Have fun in Puerto Rico and enjoy your vacation...

Response to Teandra's Eureka Moment...Week 2

I think no matter how hard we try, man will still ignore us if we are discussing a topic that has to do more with masculine than feminine. The same thing if females are discussing feminine situation and one male tried to talk over them, the females will ignore him as if he doesn't exist until they finish their talk.

This happened with friend of mine when he went with his fiancé and three of her friends to pick kitchen items to list them for her bridal shower. His fiancé and her friends start arguing whether to pick electrics tools or just regular cooks' tools. He was trying to tell them what he thinks and why but no one was listening to him and his fiancé keeps telling him "it is not his business" so he left them and went to different place.

I think as I said it depends on the topic and who is discussing it.

Response to Kesha's Eureka Moment...Week 2

My comment will be probably different than anyone else. My comment is not about what I think only, but it is about how the society I use to live in "Lebanon" think about this.

In my Country Lebanon, people don't allow couple to live together unless they are married, and they don't allow them to dates for long time too. If a couple been dating for several years, they will say that the guy doesn't really wants the girl but he just want to have fun with her or he is dating her until he finds a better girl...

I don't know why they only blame the boy and they don't say anything about the girl. It might be because in my country boys has more power than girls.

I don't agree with that, and I always fight with my parents and friends about it. I believe that the couple should live together before they get marry so they can know each other more.

Week 2...Eureka Moment

I work in a Pharmacy and we are not allow to bag family members prescriptions together, even if they were dropped together to the pharmacy by one of the family members. we have to give each member prescription separately, and give it only if the person asked for it.

So many times, a wife drops off prescriptions for her and for her husband, but when she comes to pick them up, she only asks for her prescriptions and she says that the husband will come to pick up his prescriptions after work or something like that. But, when a husband drops off prescriptions for him and for his wife, when he picks them up, he asks about his prescriptions and his wife's prescriptions.

For some reason, I always thought it will be the opposite, that is the wife will pick all family members prescriptions and not the husband. But it seems that I was wrong and I still could not figure out why it is that way.

Do you think this is because the husband cares more about the wife, or it is because ladies don't like to spend a lot of money on something it is not for them "as they say".

Maissa's Blog

My name is Maissa Chebly. I am originally from Lebanon, but I've been in US for 9 years. I am in my senior year. I am enrolled in Gender and Communication class to learn more about the way society looks at gender.
This is my second online class, but this class involve more works on blackboard and blogs than my previous one.
I hope I will learn from it as much as I can.